Tag Archive | uncool

Prisencolinensinainciusol (What does It Mean?)

This is some mad ass Italian funk that sounds like English but…isn’t? Or it might be?


The Beautiful South – Perfect 10

This song popped into my head just now. Felt it deserved an airing. I think if I timed it right I could get away with dropping this into a set. It’s borderline funky, a bit saucy, and it has a chorus you can whistle along to for the mums and dads. Plus Jacqui Abbott is giving a saucy glance in the video – ooooooh missus!

I went through a big Beautiful South phase when I wa sa student. They get a lot of flak as an MOR band in the same boat as the Lighthouse Family or the M People but people who say that have clearly never listened to their music. Having said that all three of those are dead certs for your parent’s 90s CD collection amiright? Their greatest hits collection Solid Bronze is meant to be like the third best-selling album in the UK ever but that could be hearsay. Not the band Hear’Say – I mean bollocks basically.



I used to live in France right near the b0arder with Luxembourg. What’s Luxembourg ever done for us except…become a tax haven that people always confuse with Liechtenstein? Well it has a thriving [DISCLAIMER – NOT BASED ON FACT] hip hop scene.

The shining light to come out of that is M. Toxic René. He spits in French but with a Luxembourgeois dialect (can’t you tell, sillies?) and plays all his own instruments, does all his own stunts and owns a neck lantern and braces for safety reasons. In his own words: “Je m’appelle René et je suis une star.”

This is funnier of you understand French and even funnier if you have more than a passing familiarity with Luxembourg French.

Virgin Magnetic Material – edit maven

One of my absolute favourite blogs over the past couple of years is AORDisco. They recently featured an interview with a Shai Vardi, a guy based in Israel who goes by the handle Virgin Magnetic Material. He’s been cranking out dancefloor friendly edits of rock and pop songs for over two years. Looking at his Soundcloud you’re spoilt for choice but the standout track is one that I’m almost ashamed to admit.

Cast your minds back to the summer of 1995. Whatwere you doing? I remember going on a Scout camp (cos I was cool) and being inducted into the hypnotic and gentle melodies of the Outhere Brothers, but a far bigger hit was Alanis Morisette’s Jagged Little Pill. My mum rinsed that album in her Peugeot 306 and I defy anyone to pick out a bad track on it. No, I DARE you to pick out a bad track. There isn’t one! But my least favourite was You Oughtta Know, for the record. Now VMM has flipped my previous sense of what was right and wrong when it comes to ballsy Canadian singer-songwriters on its head!

Please don’t report me to the cool police.

Guilty m’lud…

I’m not a big fan of the expression “guilty pleasure” because it cunjours up images of either genuinely good music which just happens to not have been released in the last 5 years or an excuse for people who enjoy listening to boring rock and pop to give their tastes a more interesting name. I do have one song, which, through association I shouldn’t be allowed to like.

It’s the kind of song an ignorant Tea Partier would relate to and it’s got the most sickly, overproduced 90s Nashville sound but it’s a hell of a drinking song.

I first heard it at the tender age of 22. I was in Kansas City watching my beloved St. Louis Cardinals play the Royals in the magnificent Kaufmann Stadium, sat roughly where this picture was taken from so I could see a horiffic lightning storm rolling hunderds of miles over the midwest plains towards us. By the 7th innings the storm was almost upon us when the unmistakeable picked into comes in and the whole ground chimes in in unison:

“Blame it all on my roots/I showed up in boots/And ruined your black tie affair…”

I couldn’t help but be impressed. It was certainly better than the lawnmower race they had had during the previous break.

As the chorus kicked in the heavens opened with a downpour I’ve never seen before or since but that song stayed in my head long after it had stopped raining and the majority of the fairweather fans had come out of the stands. I don’t care if it makes me a small-government-loving, gun-control-hating, family-values redneck – I love this song.


Some of my worst records spark worst meme ever

I made this short video to showcase some of my worst/cheesiest/most embarassing records back in July this year

That’s what you get being a charity shop scrounger with too many 50ps to spend. A friend has recently commented that the zydeco record on there sounds like “fruit machine music”. Bang on my friend.

My mate Chris who runs the rather excellent gear and music site Oh Drat! posted up a reply

…which sparked the most minor internet craze ever. I say internet craze, it was more like a funny turn. After a reply from MR Texas Pete of El Paso Switzerland, the old and decrepit (or wise and venerable, depending on whether you want him to do you a favour) DJ Sigma posted the vid on the sadly forgotten DJ Forums which elicited a single, final death throw for the genre.

What a whirlwind few days.